You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
