i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
