Apparently you make a good broom.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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