i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
