"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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