We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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