It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
my liver is dry heaving
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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