Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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