I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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