Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
