Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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