Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
