I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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