good thing vaginas are great cup holders
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
