and you said cock pushups were impossible
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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