im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
