I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
