you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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