what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
