Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
