When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
