Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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