He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I wish I only lived at night.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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