Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
