He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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