no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
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I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
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Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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