biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I am naked and annoyed.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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