when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
