at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
