It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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