:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
