I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
