Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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