i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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