Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize