"it" just moved
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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