Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
