member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my poor anus
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize