we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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