you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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