did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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