She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
