so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
