PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
