...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So squirting runs in the family.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize