I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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