I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
