Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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