no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
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