Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
