His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
