My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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