Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
