Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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