guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
