i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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