Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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