Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
