id be glad to
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
