god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
