I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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