For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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