I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I just cut my nipple shaving
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
