Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
