Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
