Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
